Ling Valentine
About Ling Valentine
Ling Valentine (39) runs the UK's favourite car leasing website, LINGsCARS.com
Started from scratch, and with a psychedelically bright website that ignores all the "rules", in 2012 Ling's business will move around $80,000,000 of new cars, earning $750,000 of gross proft without laying out a cent on buying any car stock. Born in Chengdu, China, Ling moved to the UK in 1997 and now considers herself "bloody Blitish". She has grown her new car leasing website in the face of massive restrictions from the UK car industry, having seen off dealer and finance company backlisting, plus rebuking legal challenges from BMW, Mercedes, Honda, Toyota/Lexus, VW/Audi, and Ford, many of which are displayed online.
Her website is either loved or hated and gets massive traffic without any paid for advertising or adwords. Yet she says many of her customers are top professionals, high-ranking military officers, airline pilots, CEOs and British MPs. Every customer gets treated to the same high standard and Ling is acknowledged by her peers to have the best sales/service satisfaction in the UK motor industry. She anticipates customer website logins, and answers customer communications within 5 minute targets. Ling's office operates 100% online, with events announced with aural website triggers consisting of 1960's Hong Kong pop songs, military marches and "any other noise which is not copyrighted, plus Jedward". She's also rigged up strobe lights from Radio Shack which operate when signed car orders roll in. Her staff wear sunglasses.
A "live" website is her constant goal, although she admits "I am Chinese, not Catholic - I can't do miracles".
She insists we mention that this bio is sponsored by Beverly Hills Porsche, who @LINGsCARS knows well on Twitter @BevHillsPorsche ...and who she mistakenly thought would lend her a fast car while she visits us in New York.
About The Great Leap Forward - (let a thousand animated gifs bloom)
Ling of LINGsCARS will patiently explain to a slow and reluctant audience, how to make online customers happy using subliminal mind-torture and the power of swearing. Regularly grasping victory from the jaws of poor coding, flashing gifs and defeat, Ling intends to describe how she squeezes every last cent out of her UK customers and how she takes complaining web visitors by the neck and rams them through her car leasing sausage machine. All while making them very happy. This presentation does not include any Thai prostitutes, or dogs playing poker. You won’t understand a word of it. Chopsticks are optional.
