Alright internet, it’s been more than a week since we’ve been back at work, show me what you got…

Welcome back round-up fans. Would you believe me if I said I missed you as much as you’ve missed the round-up? Yeah that leaves things suitably ambiguous. Either way, it’s nice to be back.

Please enjoy these terrific little distractions on us. The only thing we ask in return is your amusement.

Also £20,000 in unmarked, non-sequential bills which you can leave in a bag next to the green bin around the back of the office.

I am Jack’s astonishingly watertight theory

Jack Durden has created a lengthy, well illustrated webpage detailing his theories on Fight Club, particularly how almost every character is a figment of the unnamed narrator’s imagination.

The most compelling arguments of which centre on Marla.

It’s not as crack-pot as you may assume it will be. Well maybe a little. 

Cards Against Abbey

Cards Against Humanity is funny and brilliant, right, because anyone playing it can pull out a card saying ‘Gary Glitter’ and it’s funny because it’s offensive and brilliant, and it’s also funny when ladies who star in the very posh Downton Abbey play Cards Against Humanity because you get to hear them say ‘farts’ and ‘wee’ and ‘Gary Glitter’.

Where the grass is always redder on the other side

A wonderful mixture of retro tourist posters and space nerdery, NASA has produced these gorgeous posters for Kepler-186f, the first Earth-size planet discovered in a potentially ‘habitable zone’.

Time to pack your space-boots and dehydrated food sachets!

Taken Over

Here’s a glimpse into the next million Taken sequels courtesy of Upright Citizen’s Brigade.

We’re going to need a bigger crib

In an almost too-brilliant-to-be-truly-considered-weird-or-cruel move, this uncle has built his baby nephew a Jaws themed crib.

“I’ll babysit him for three, but I’ll change him and burp him for ten“.

Thrasher Price

Here is Slayer played rather convincingly well on some children’s musical instruments. Note child running around like a true metal hero.

Vulgar Display of Bebop

Jazz is great. Heavy Metal album artwork is great. If you hate either of those things, this is probably not the place for you.

Unless however you happen to enjoy pop culture restyled in wacky new formats, then you’ll love Metazz’s heavy metal albums with 50s jazz covers.

It’s essentially the bread and butter of our weekly round-up.

A whole new world

Way more chilled out then spending an actual day at Disneyland, here’s a really quite beautiful time-lapse video of a single day spent at Disneyland captured in 20,000 photos and where not one Goofy is seen being kicked in the nuts.

From despair to where

Prepare for a disquieting journey down roads perhaps best not travelled down thanks to photographer Andy Lee and his collection of forlorn looking, rarely travelled down highways.

Probably should have used the sat-nav.

Raiders of the Lost Bark

Here are some dogs and cats pretending to be Indiana Jones. Look it’s only the first week of January okay, there’s not a lot flying around.

That’s your lot for this week. Me and the internet are off to get tattoos.

The internet’s getting a unicorn shooting glitter out of its horn. I’m getting the same but with flames bursting out of its eyes as well.