It’s difficult to write this weekly round-up and remain ‘evergreen’.

It would be much easier to just glibly reference our current tube strike woes, the Winter Olympics or the fact that I’ve spent the last few days trying to stalk Prince around East London.

Well I’m going to aim for that rare goal of ‘timelessness’ right now…

Here’s a choice of three ‘topical’ introductions, hopefully one of which will be relevant in whatever distant time in the future you’re reading this.

One: How about these tube strikes, huh? I don’t feel comfortable on a Routemaster bus unless I’m smoking and piercing my own ear with a drawing pin.

Two: How about these plunge-holes in the sky-lanes, huh? I would’ve come off my hover-board if it wan’t for this magnetic field reversal.

Three: How about these flux-glitches in the teleportation booths, huh? I arrived at my destination quarter man, quarter fly and half iOS98.

There, I think I can claim that I am the king of relevancy. Now for the round-up.

I’d buy that for a dollar

The only Robocop remake you need to see this weekend is this crowdsourced film project which is more of a collection of funny parodies and oddities then a slavish retelling.

Instantly making it better than the jigsaw assembled remakes of Star Wars out there.

Click on ed-209 below. Surprisingly professional looking, apart from the fact you can see its legs. And there’s a puppet in the background.

Just a Theremin-ute!

This is just wonderful. It’s an online Theremin emulator, which you can use to recreate your own version of ‘Good Vibrations’, the Doctor Who theme tune or Portishead’s ‘Glory Box’.

Only 35,136,019 bricks to go

Movoto has worked out how many bricks it would take to build full-size versions of 17 famous movie homes. Below is the Ghostbusters firehouse.

Sure it’s pricey, but a relative bargain compared to $204m it would take to amass 1.1bn bricks for a life size version of Hogwarts.

The day Buzzfeed ate itself

Shirley Manson took the Buzzfeed test ‘Which ’90s Alt-Rock Grrrl Are You?’ and inexplicably she didn’t get herself.

Mass confusion now reigns in the Buzzfeed office. “How could Shirley Manson not have picked top left? How could we have got it so wrong?”

It’s possible that an internal enquiry will uncover depths of corruption and incompetence. That’s much more likely than the notion that a human being can change in 20 years.

Human, all too human

Head on over to Terry Border’s Wiry Limbs, Paper Backs site, where the photographer has created some beautifully anthropomorphised literary classics.

Sign of four… or three

Slightly easier to follow than the average episode of Sherlock, here Benedict Cumberbatch further cements himself as the greatest human being alive right now.

Next for Cumberbatch: solving the mystery of whether Mr Snuffleupagus is imaginary or not. 

This will look great in your hollowed-out volcano lair

This bank safe swimming pool containing 8m Swiss ‘rappen’ is currently located in Basel, Switzerland and it can be yours for the right price (price available on request).

A website clearly aimed at a sole audience of Scrooge McDuck

My God, it’s full of sans-serif 

Not being able to go a whole round-up without mentioning Stanley Kubrick, here’s a brilliant and highly detailed look at the different typography used in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Click on the image below. 

The one Look Back video you do want to see 

I used up my best pun in yesterday’s article Facebook: don’t Look Back in anger so I’m left wanting here. Anyway… 

Fancy a sneak peak at Rob Ford’s Look Back video? Here you go.

Prove you read good

Spend a couple of minutes testing the speed in which you read with the Staples ‘speed reader challenge’ below.

With my score I could read War and Peace in 25 hours and 58 minutes. It sort of puts the hours I’ve put into Fruit Ninja seem a bit like I’m wasting my life.

Sochi it to me, baby 

I’ll give the final word to The Canadian Institute of Diversity and Inclusion. 

That’s your lot for this week, although me and the internet do need to talk to you about something… I’m afraid me and the internet haven’t been getting on very well lately and we’ve decided to separate. It is your fault and you should definitely blame yourself.

For more weekly round-up hijinks check out last week’s 12 ways the internet made or lives better.