If our Twitter page is the public face of Econsultancy, then surely this weekly round-up of internet distractions is the ugly hat that you thought was such a great idea last summer, but now you keep in a dirty old carrier bag at the bottom of your wardrobe.
To returning friends, a hearty welcome, you’ll be glad to know it’s business as usual.
To relative strangers who have stumbled over this for the first time, an even heartier welcome with a vague whiff of desperation and an admittance that things don’t get much better from here.
Here are the best things we found on the internet this week, all of which made the week go that little bit quicker. Yes I’m aware it was a four-day week. I’ll also stop saying week now.
Hufflepuff! HUFFLEPUFF?? Right that’s it, I’m going back to public school
Finally answer the question you’ve been asking yourself every day for the last decade and a half: “which Hogwarts house would I be sorted into by the magical sorting hat?”
Just follow The Sorting Hat Bot for your own personal rhymed sorting.
@@128hoodmario The ethic of a porcupine, the cunning of a mink For Hufflepuff you cast your lot for you are very pink
— The Sorting Hat Bot (@SortingBot) April 6, 2015
I’m still waiting for my reply. It probably won’t be good news.
Update! I suspected as much…
@Christophe_Rock The anger of an ocelot, the stinging of a fox For Slytherin you cast your lot for you are orthodox
— The Sorting Hat Bot (@SortingBot) April 13, 2015
Every song from every Wes Anderson film ever (almost)
Soundtrack your own emotional breakdown caused by familial angst and crippling self-delusion with this Spotify playlist containing every* song from Wes Anderson’s entire filmography, including The Life Aquatic, Rushmore, The Grand Budapest Hotel and the others which you’ll already be aware of, otherwise why else would have read this far.
*Apart from some orchestral pieces from The Darjeeling Limited, but you know… who needs them when you’ve got Bowie, The Clash and Vince Guraldi.
Mad Men played out entirely on social media
This is an incredibly clever video made by Vanity Fair, which basically lays out the entire plot of Mad Men via the characters’ own updates on various major social networks.
Prepare for MASSIVE SPOILERS if you’re not up to date. Then again if you’re on social media, you’d have already had all this spoiled for you already. The only way to watch this video safely is to not be on any social network or not care about Mad Men. Unfortunately you won’t get any of the jokes in it. I need to go lie down now.
I’m not sure whether you’ve heard, but the odd character does get killed in Game of Thrones. In fact maybe even more than in The A-Team.
To help you keep up with the bodycount, The Washington Post has created this stunning illustrated guide to all 456 deaths so far. (SPOILERS obviously).
That’s 456 deaths. Bear in mind there have only been four seasons and each season has only 10 episodes. Also half of them appear to be Robert Baratheon’s illegitimate children.
Time to Statham Punch
Here is some extremely helpful data, which I will be submitting to our research team later today for inclusion in the next measurement and analytics report.
Measuring TTSP: how long do we have to wait till Statham punches someone in the face? Click below for more of Matt Haughey‘s insight…
Apparently fist-bumps and friendly shoulder taps don’t count.
The greatest Facebook comment thread ever
As reported in Happy Place, Humans of New York shared this post from a girl named Beyoncé, who dreaded her first day of school…
Then what follows is a heart-warming and, to be entirely honest, hilarious collection of real-life support from the Facebook community.
If Avengers: Age of Ultron came out in 1995
You’ll be excited about the new Avengers sequel coming out in a couple weeks because I know you. You’re just like me. You even have the same hat. Wait a minute, is that my lunch? Put that down, that’s mine.
Ha ha ha, now I have two lunches.
Anyway, imagine if Avengers: Age of Ultron has already come out 20 years ago, and the 15 year-old versions of us back then got to experience a classic Don LaFontaine voice-overed trailer. Then we’d be really excited. Seriously stop eating my lunch!
At last, the Keane/Galactus mash-up you always dreamt of, you weirdo
Spacelordklopper (probably not real name) has created a whole pile of classic record sleeves featuring your very favourite superheroes and supervillains replacing the original artists.
“What even Daken, the fallen son of Wolverine?” Yes, weirdo.
Toy Story: where criticism and commerce get on very well
Here’s a look at the last 34 years worth of highest grossing films and their Rotten Tomatoes score.
If for nothing else it proves that Home Alone and Independence Day are surprisingly underappreciated and 1999 was a terrible year.
“You listen to me more, you live longer!”
Here’s a charming little animated documentary on how Spielberg and special effects supervisor George Gibbs filmed the bridge stunt in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. ‘One Take’ George is the very model of affable.
*clears diary for October*
I don’t normally put straight-up ads in the round-up, but this looks flipping terrific, and features Joel McHale being terribly Joel McHaley. Here is the trailer for LEGO Dimensions, a multi-format event that makes a mockery of every shared cinematic universe currently in existence. Even our own.
Make your own Gifs
One of my first acts as the newly appointed Deputy Editor was to spend an entire morning writing about how much I love Gifs. Between you and me I’ll be surprised if I make it till the end of the week.
It was totally worth it though to share my very insightful knowledge on where to find and create your own brilliant Gifs. Now you too can waste time making tiny works of art like this…
Now get out of here and buy yourself something nice from the sandwich shop. And being as you’re going anyway, can you get me something with lots of cheese on it thanks.