Why yes, I have just got back from a two-week-long honeymoon to Japan. How did you know?

Firstly, a massive thank you to Matt Owen for keeping the round up machine oiled and recogged for the last few weeks.

His sole reward is the knowledge that all his hard work and sacrifice meant that you remained regularly distracted for at least one to three minutes every week. Which is our subtle way of telling him he’s not getting paid. 

“So how amazing was Tokyo?” I hear you ask. This amazing…

On with the round-up!

Downton Abbey Well

This is worse than when someone left an iPad on the set of Gone With the Wind.

Create your own Expendables villain

The Shiznit has created this excellent baddie generator to save Stallone almost minutes of effort the next time he needs to thinly sketch out the next bizarrely named nemesis for an inevitable fourth instalment. Pffft! Conrad Stonebanks, that’s a good one. Oh wait. 


All your favourite movie slasher villains rendered as harmless Scooby Doo villains by illustrator Travis Falligant (perhaps a product of the above generator) and Bloody Disgusting has the whole set.

“Phew it was just the crazy old school janitor all this time!” I would imagine Shaggy saying before… you know… he got his arms chopped off.  

“You must defeat my Dragon Punch to stand a chance!” 

The Matrix rescored with sound effects from 8 and 16 bit video games makes it infinitely more entertaining and somehow less irritating.

Holy addictive Gif

I can watch this all day. Oh no I just did!

So What’cha Want? 

It’s the matching outfits that do it for me. That and the fact that this VIDEO IS DAMN AMAZING!!! 

“If you look hard enough, you can see how much we’re all alike”

Blaine Gibson took a wedding ring to Disney World and proposed to Cinderella. He then proposed to every single Disney princess in the park, which leads me to suspect that his intentions were not all that serious. 

The above quote was from Aladdin FYI. Yeah I’m cool. 

Unboxed, without remote control, circa 2006

Brian Barrett went on the Antiques Roadshow and had his eight year old flat-screen TV appraised. How much is it worth? Well that would be a spoiler, instead here you go, watch the whole pointless three minute long exercise just like I had to. 

The Festival of Marketing needs your…

This week we asked our loyal band of Twitter followers to help us complete a slogan for the Festival of Marketing.

Here are the ones that didn’t make the cut, unfortunately… 

My contribution of “slightly damp handshake” was also disregarded.

Just when you thought it was safe…

Sharklumbo. He’s a shark. And he’s Peter Falk as Columbo. Sharklumbo ladies and gentlemen. Sharklumbo.

The narrative Robin Williams deserves

Thanks to the Village Voice for correcting a wrong.

Who said we would never publish a cat video here?

Apart from me, when I started doing this thing at the beginning of the year, back when I had values and journalistic integrity. Meh…

This video is neatly summed up by the comment at 0:13.

That’s your lot for this week. I’ve got some bad news to tell the internet (re: my getting married), so it’s probably best if you all leave the room. This will get ugly.