By the hoary beard of Odin, what a week it’s been in internets land!
If you like concise, amusing and well thought out pieces about the future of native advertising, then you should probably leave immediately and go watch this video by the ever-talented John Oliver instead.
If however you’re more likely to enjoy a picture of Santana holding a giant slug, read on, dear user, read on…
Standing on your father’s stomach is educational
Ever wanted to learn how to do difficult sums but can’t be bothered with all that counting and stuff? Why not just imagine a picture of a kite in your mind instead:
I have no idea what Facebook is trying to say here
I’m not a sports fan, but that doesn’t stop Facebook from trying to suggest that I ‘like’ a few teams. I have no idea what sort of sport these guys play though.
Is that a ‘Bone-Tempi’ organ?
Proof that Hipsters have now reached Battersea – it’s a dog that plays a synth! And it’s the most amazing thing in the world.
A dark and looming terror
We all love a bit of breakfast TV here at Team Content.
Except for Ben, who listens to the radio. And Chris, who plays Scrabble on his phone. And Matt, who doesn’t actually own a TV. And Dave, who reads the paper. And Christopher, who’s away in Japan.
But otherwise we all love breakfast TV, which is why we also enjoy watching Eamon Holmes die inside over and over again as he sits through a ‘Loom Lesson’:
We spend at least an hour a week staring at @Dril’s (or WINT as he prefers to be known) tweets. He’s clearly clinically insane, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow him immediately:
the pringles man is the ghost of uncle pennybag, the monopoly man. this is the first opinion ive ever posted so please be gentle. #BrandLore
— wint (@dril) July 24, 2014
You should see the definition of diamond ring
Hello Kitty will not shield your young from the world! Revel in your terror young ones!
This children’s dictionary was possibly put together by someone who’s been hitting up the ol’ Sake a little too often:
Look at the definition of “necklace” in this Hello Kitty children’s book: pic.twitter.com/6Owkj9WyjZ
— Jonathan Meyer (@jonathangmeyer) July 23, 2014
Bowie don’t need no Brylcreem
Even when you catch him of guard, the Thin White Duke is still cooler than you’ll ever be.
Look at that hair. Who has hair like that? Anyway, here’s some lovely ‘not quite ready that time sorry’ pics from Bowie’s ‘Heroes’ cover shoot.
That’s right, these top guitarists have just discovered that they are in fact holding giant slugs!
I’ve been visiting this week’s most amazing Tumblr quite a lot, and now I’ve had to cancel band practice because I’m afraid to open my guitar case.
Leaf it out corner
Guardians of the Galaxy came out last week. I urge you to take the kids, because it’s a whole bunch a’ space-based fun.
That said, you can’t have a successful sci-fi franchise without FanFic. Usually erotic FanFic, as this astoundingly erogenous post shows, Groot’s salacious mind knows no sexual bounds.
Have you noticed I got through this entire thing without mentioning the word ‘wood’? I’m officially a grown up.
You wouldn’t have a word for ‘Doppelganger’ unless it happened all the time would you?
That said, there’s plenty more words in the German language that are just as untranslatable. Luckily, this handy slideshow is available in case you too suffer from Die Waldeinsamkeit in the middle of Dusseldorf.
Klaus Meine news spot of the week
Speaking of Germany, last week we ended the round-up with Accept, who, let’s face it, were pretty gosh darn Tuetonic. This week I’m upping the ante and letting The Scorpions loose.
If this doesn’t fill you with a tiny little bit of glee then you aren’t really cut out to enjoy life:
Right, that’s it for another week. Me and the internet are off to explore the local sewers and possibly build a base down there in preparation for the new TMNT movie. We’ll catch you in the storm drains on Monday. Ciao!