When the transatlantic soft-rock band Foreigner pleads “I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me” what is the best way to respond?
Here’s my advice. Gently run your fingers through the permed hair of lead vocalist Lou Gramm, place your other hand to his chest (directly over the spot where his broken heart aches) and whisper softly to him “let’s talk about love”.
Then promptly sit him down in front of a laptop and show him three hours worth of cat Gifs, LEGO remakes of film trailers and the Atari version of The Shining. He’ll thank you for it.
Then before leaving Gramm will surely turn to you and say “I now know what love is. I shall tell the rest of Foreigner.”
Let’s play The Shining
I’ve done it. I’ve finally found it. After months of searching the wait is over. I have found the best thing on the internet. You all can stop looking. Game over folks. We won’t bother coming back next week, because here it is…
A web-playable Atari game of The Shining.
Here are some highlights…
Oh no! Spooky twins!
Oh no! Insane typing!
Oh no! Pong!
Go and give Pippin Barr a great big thank you.
Well I suppose I should carry on, after all I am contractually obliged to finish this round-up.
“Hello Iron Man fans, Marvel fans, Avengers fans, [laser-death-ray-murder fans]”
A crazy genius named Patrick Priebe has built a working Iron Man glove that shoots lasers, fires projectiles and makes an assortment of cool noises. All fun and games until things take a turn for the worrisome when he starts burning through wood.
Expect Priebe’s next video to be filmed inside a hollowed-out volcano and consist of nothing but maniacal laughing.
Ryan Adams has finally covered Bryan Adams. Why finally? Because of course Ryan Adams’s name sounds a lot like Bryan Adams (not sure if you spotted that) and even though Ryan Adams has been famous for around 15 years now he has remained almost pathologically ignorant of his namesake’s work.
Until this week, when he cheered up immeasurably to cover the Bryan Adams… uh… classic ‘Summer of 69’.
At this point in history we are more likely to expect a Ryan Adams duet with Melanie C than a 16 week long reign at number one with a song from a Kevin Costner film.
Will an Apple Watch blend?
Of course it will my friend. Anything will blend. You just need a blender.
What makes this even more enjoyable is if you imagine the faces of the Apple Store employees as they open the doors to the queuing customers and are presented immediately with Blendtec Founder Tom Dickson, whose sole purpose is to buy the first generation Apple Watch on the first day of sale only to cheerily destroy it.
What Mortal Kombat took away in hours of teenage lives, it gave back in helping to ruin techno music.
Here is The Warp Zone’s A capella version of the Mortal Kombat theme, which places the group in a Brady Bunch style split screen and some lovely colourful fight costumes.
Contains some disemboweling.
Soviet bloc party
25 years after the fall of the Berlin Wall, Soviet-era buildings are still standing, and my goodness they are a fascinating, brutal and outright bizarre bunch.
Business Insider has the full list, but for now here’s a taster.
What did you do with your life? Uh-huh… uh-huh… okay… well that all sounds interesting, but did you build a fully working, life-size car entirely out of LEGO? No? Well you wasted your life then.
Why Nicolas Cage went bankrupt
It’s comforting to be reminded that the off-screen persona of Nicolas Cage is just as much of an unhinged lunatic as the on-screen one.
Here Supercompressor runs through the 12 most absurd things Nicolas Cage has actually bought in his lifetime, including…
Two albino king cobras, plus handy vile of anti-venom “just in case”.
A shark. Yep, a shark. There’s no anti-venom for that.
A haunted murder mansion.
Hey I’m just reporting the facts here!
Transformers: how it should be
Director Harris Loureiro has taken exactly what’s in the mind of any child when they play with their action figures and translated it onto the screen in a far more beautiful, realistic and kickass way than any movie or cartoon version so far.
I scream, you scream, we all scream…
Answering the question you never asked: “hey what would my favourite horror films look like if they were honoured with their own Ben and Jerry flavour?”
Wonder no more, weirdo.
Only two Shining references this week, standards must be slipping.
Some assembly required
Pop Chart Labs often gets a shout out in our weekly stats round-up (which you should also read by the way being as it features even more tortured pop music puns than this article), and this week the brilliant infographics laboratory has also made the second most popular Friday round-up published by Econsultancy.
I know, it’s quite the honour.
For the release of the fifth best MCU film so far, Avengers: Age of Ultron, here’s a massive infographic featuring every iteration of the Avengers team over its entire 50-year history.
I thought this was really cute at first, but then it just turns into a cat version of J.G. Ballard’s High Rise.
I should probably end it there.
I should probably also apologise for the fact you’ll have “I Wanna Know What Love is” going around your head for the rest of the day.