Hello again, readers, and welcome back to the fetid atmosphere of Planet Procrastinate.

What you are reading is our ultimately useless round-up of the week’s memes and cool-things. Just click on the things to explore them in more detail.

Please share and comment: it’s the only way I belong.

Insults of the week

Irony of the week

Google. via @ingobousa

Truism of the week

via @helenpidd

Bad lip-reading of the week

Coffee-break video of the week

Every single ‘oh boy!’ from Quantum Leap

Moz revelation of the week

No, not the search experts, but pop’s everyman surrealist, Morrissey. He’s got an autobiography out; in it he tries to grasp the metaphorical wet bar of soap that is Gerry Anderson’s Thunderbirds.

They are, of course, animated puppets, yet they are as real as I am. But how real am I?

Read the most Morrissey-esque bits in The Telegraph.

Accessory of the week

The simple, ‘child beard’.

Drink of the week

The simple, ‘cat wine’.

Website of the week

http://www.hosanna1.com/

JUST CLICK ON IT.

Tumblr of the week

It’s difficult to condone this kind of sniping, we will merely comment on it. Check twitterdouchebags.tumblr.com for many ill-advised Twitter bios. via @katiemoffat

Econsultancy reader’s name of the week

‘Rudi de Groot.’

Wine rack of the week

Andrew Warren-Payne quote of the week

The best utterance from our most English of Analysts.

I would be incredibly charged if I was served a beverage from that wine rack.