By the hoary host of Hoggoth, welcome weary traveller, to our hall.
Me and the internet have decided that retro is very on trend, so we’ve decided to begin dressing in the manner of 12th century Viking invaders. It’s certainly livened up board meetings we can tell you.
That has nothing at all to do with this week’s miscellany of idiocy from around the web, as you’ll soon see…
What I really want is a man who is HIDEOUSLY rich…
Yeah yeah, you think you know about web design. Unless you’re taking tips from ‘world’s celebrated business tycoon’ (which world isn’t mentioned) Prince Moosa, YOU KNOW NOTHING.
Click the Prince’s throne for a lesson in website design you’ll never forget. No matter how hard you try.
So realistic, it’ll drink your leftover champagne.
How often have you been at work and needed to construct a tiny green model of the Ghostbuster’s second-fattest foe? I’m betting daily. Well worry no more! CAUTION: May contain an actual real live ghost:
Literary references, but, y’know… for kids.
Some absolutely luvverly art from the very talented Ben Chen. Pop-Up Pirate is a particular fave:
Anything is possible
I slip a reference to this website into as many blog posts as I can, but frankly I’m still utterly astounded at the lack of people making use of the web’s most comprehensive resource.
You can quite literally do anything at Zombo.com. Anything at all. Speakers on please.
I may live in London Fields, but I’m seriously gonna have to up my game. My lemon-yellow doily-cape just isn’t gonna cut it against this kind of competition.
Hipster level: Final Boss pic.twitter.com/I6ze1TxZzf
— Rokshimmer / Andy H (@Rokshimmer) September 22, 2014
Things on my desk right now:
- A miniature Bat-Signal.
- A small golden cat.
- Two luminous 80s sweatbands.
- A notepad with the words ‘’Wat Gwan?’ written on it in purple sharpie.
But I couldn’t live in this paradise of functional simplicity if it weren’t for modern technology, as this superlative little film shows.
The joy of spaaaaaace
Parallax scrolling always sounded like something from outer space to me anyway, which is what makes this such an absolute joy.
Go on, waste an hour on it:
Throw me the whip signor
Dun-da dun duuun, dun da-dun, dun da dun dun, dun da dun dun dun. And so on and so forth.
Raiders of the Lost Ark is absolutely brilliant. From Himalayan drinking competitions to Nazis with exploding heads, it’s got everything I look for in a film.
What you might not realise is just how brilliant the staging is. Steven Soderbergh does though, so he’s re-cut the whole thing as a black and white silent film. If anything, it’s even better…
I be all up in ur air, deliverin’ ur amazons
When we think of our autonomous flying machine-friends, we’re usually thinking about sleek killing machines, or possibly those annoying quad copters that smack into your head in the park.
But there is a kinder, gentler side to drone tech too. One that… just… wants to… Daaaaaaaancceeee…
Woof! Bark! Grrrr!
What’s that boy? You’re not sure if you’re a Wetterhorn or a King Charles?
And you need to find out in the most adorable way possible? You got it, let’s check out Lili Chin’s complete guide to canines. Click the image for adorableness overload.
Woof Woof! What’s that? Timmy’s stuck down the well again? Ah, the hell with that kid, that’s the third time this month.
So cool. Very relax.
Setting realistic social media goals
Remember not to fill up your followers’ social feeds with too many updates kids.
The original Hodor proves that he’s an artist dammit! Click for some genuinely unsettling images.
Right, that’s it for this week. As promised, not a Viking in site.
Me and the internet are off to rustle cabbages from Farmer MacGregor’s garden. I can’t imagine anything going wrong. See you next week!