Oh, hi internet. How’re you? No, we haven’t seen each other in a while have we? Because you’ve been off with that Christopher Ratcliff, letting him round-up your innumerable electronic treats every week haven’t you?
Fine, we can have a coffee, but you need to be gentle with me. I’m not sure I can stand going back to dial-up.
Don’t worry, I’m not really upset, I still love the internet, and who can blame me when it shows me stuff like this. Come, gentle e-reader, on a journey into mystery and imagination…
Click the images if you want to know more. Or you know, keep those blinkers on and live a happy, stress-free life.
A VHS copy of ‘Hellraiser’ keeps appearing on top of this bus stop, and nobody knows why.
When I was 15 I watched Clive Barker’s Hellraiser on a dodgy VHS at my friend Steve’s house. Luckily I wasn’t scared, and I definitely didn’t run home crying, because I’m so street and cool and tough. And I definitely didn’t wet myself last week either, when I saw this mysterious VHS copy that keeps appearing on top of a bus stop. THE BOX!!!
Build a better bus stop
Speaking of bus stops, it wouldn’t be the round-up if we didn’t squeeze a spurious reference to Lego in here somewhere. Fortunately, London’s own Hamley’s Toy Shop has provided us with an excuse. This can’t be comfortable.
Are you a terrible father? Awesome – you’re just like Don Draper!
At least according to the Mad Men Facebook page anyway. Happy unreliable father’s day:
Top 10 crappy movie websites
Remember when movies had good websites?
To be honest, Robot Jox is the only film I’ve ever seen, but even that managed to serve up memorable gifs like this one. Revel in its late-80s, vaguely xenophobic glory, and then read this lovely piece over on The Guardian about the sad decline of film sites. Go on, it’s got Muppets in it.
MS Paint World Cup highlights
As a finger-on-the-pulse, savvy internet dude, I’ve learned that there is apparently some sort of ball-kicking awards happening in Brazil. Unfortunately most of the matches happen after my bedtime (7pm, except on Friday, when I’m allowed to stay up and watch Roseanne), but thanks to the interweb, I can catch up via the timeless medium of MS Paint!
Frankly most of these are more animated than Jordan Henderson, amirite?
You might think that it’s all mucking about on the web here at Econsultancy towers, but let me tell you, I didn’t get to write posts like this (read by almost 14 people) without payin’ my dues. Here’s something to inspire you. Vaguely NSFW.
Number One, I order you to go and take a number two.
Relive your favourite Star Trek: TNG moments (you know, like when Wesley was sentenced to death for trampling a space-hippy’s allotment, the clumsy oaf) by piloting a tiny 8-bit Mr. Data around the Enterprise D in Pixel Trek.
Who knew Picard had a private toilet?
How much do all those fantasy weddings cost anyway?
Planning a wedding?
Chances are your catering options are either Lamb, Beef, or 1,000 courses, eaten in a castle while the people starve and riot outside. Keep a tight rein on your budget with this handy Game of Thrones wedding cost-planner thing:
OK GO (to the optician now)
Mandrake the Magician himself would be proud of OK GO’s new video, the most mind-messing, eye-boggling series of optical illusions and catchy chorus riffs we’ve seen since the last time the subscriptions team had a Karaoke night:
You kids today, with your hula-hoops and body art
Should my mum or dad be reading this, I definitely don’t have a truly awful tattoo of an octopus, and even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t tell them, otherwise I’d get this kind of reaction:
Genuinely touching moment of the week corner
During the World Cup, The Beautiful Game can be an emotional rollercoaster, but here’s something that’s emerged from the morass of yellow cards that’s genuinely lovely and inspiring. This Brazilian fan is deaf and blind, but his friends found a way for him to watch the World Cup anyway. I urge you to watch and share.
“Lannister leaves on a horse. Unconventional”
Endorsing a colleagues new website in the hope of a free donut corner
Our very own Bola Awoniyi has a new project on the go. It’s very good. Almost as good as the best site on the internet, but with more of a “UK based lifestyle website that taps into the conversations Black British women are having” vibe. Check it out.
He’s also hidden ‘Mr.Bun The Baker’ up his other sleeve
Finally, It’s my round-up, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t put something satanic in here. Let’s take it full circle and finish with yet more Hellraiser.
Ever wondered how to defeat an army of demons? It helps if you’re Lemmy. This doesn’t make a lick of sense, which makes me love it even more…
That’s it for this week. Have a lovely weekend, me and the internet are going to spend it standing outside Camden Tube Station, weirding out the squares with our blue hair and New Rock boots.