I can guarantee with absolute conviction that even now before I’ve even begun curating this round-up of gimmicky internet flotsam, there is absolutely no way the content of this article can possibly justify that headline.

We have an old saying in the internet round-up trade: “lead them on with extraordinarily unrealistic expectations and leave them deflated and questioning their own life choices.”

It’s not exactly pithy, but unfortunately it’s the best motto we could come up with at the time and nobody’s thought to come up with a better one.

Here’s the round-up.

Much original doge, such important find

My inside source reveals that this is the Vine account for the owner of the original Shiba Inus dog, as featured in the popular Doge meme  http://suchwowdogememes.wordpress.com/.

I can’t dispute this or corroborate it as it’s all in Japanese. However if you’d like to see how a doge spends its day click through below.

The most overrated film of all time is…

Uh, Spy Kids. And it’s sequel. Spy Kids 2. Yes that harmless children’s franchise that I don’t think anybody on the planet has a strong feeling about either way has been mathematically proven to be the most overrated film on the planet.

Click on the chart below to check the math(s).

Going forward…

Here’s a helpful flowchart that will help your company decide whether or not it needs a QR code or not.

Move over, Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes

Star Wars themed puns, inside jokes, celebrity cameos, obscure musicians… there are also some positive reasons to watch this video. I think it’s mainly Lisa Loeb.

Works better than a ZX Spectrum

Chris McVeigh has done humanity a great service (or at least the slightly nerdier hardcore with lots of time on its hands, hi how you doing by the way?) and created these free downloadable guides on how to build your favourite bit of retro technology out of LEGO.

Click below for your own slightly less functional NES.

Live my living dreamy life dreams

What every single advert featuring a celebrity sounds like right now. Think you need Jay Sean in your advertising campaign? You don’t.

Class is a tool of the enemy

This American high school is holding elections for student council. Somebody has decided to run as Soviet Bear.

Check out the Reddit thread by clicking below… 


That was Elastica’s Stutter if you didn’t quite catch it. Here’s a supercut of all the most infamous vocal hooks from the world of 90’s alternative rock. Stop before the two-minute mark to avoid Counting Crows’ endless ‘naa-naa-naa’-ing.

Point, click, slay

Andrew Scaife has turned Buffy the Vampire Slayer into a LucasArts style adventure game. Well, drawings of at least. Someone get this man some of that tasty Kickstarter money to make it real and I can watch a pixelated Xander get eaten by spiders all day long.

The many faces of Murray

Get ready for some scrolling…

By Steve Murray.

As cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce

It was MCA day on May 3rd and to celebrate the life of Beastie Boy Adam Yauch, these Tibetan monks did the only acceptable thing…

Failing the Bechdel test this year…

The Bechdel test is an easy way to check the gender bias of any work of fiction. Merely ask whether the film or novel features a scene where at least two named women talk to each other about something other than a man. If it doesn’t, well you’ve got yourself a sexist movie there.

Here Time magazine informally ranks the sexism of this summer’s blockbusters.

One whole raw carrot, a cheese slice and some hard boiled eggs

Someone ate this http://someoneatethis.tumblr.com/ is a Tumblr site devoted to bad food and bad food photography. It’s a stomach turning yet endlessly fascinating journey. Yep, somebody ate this…

That’s your lot for this week, I’m off to Copenhagen to take part in some kind of karaoke competition or something (I was unclear of the rules when I signed up). While I’m gone, don’t do anything with the internet that you wouldn’t do in front of your mother. 

Had enough of sad Kanye?

Of all the bad to average Photoshopped images of sad Kanye doing the internet rounds this week, nothing tops the sheer mournful majesty of the original photo. Here it is for your enjoyment…

For more round-up hijinks check out last week’s 11 absurdly amusing things we found on the internet this week.