I’m fully aware it’s not the internet’s birthday today, I just had 16 things in this week’s round-up and my brain wouldn’t let me get past using a ‘sweet 16’ riff.

But just because it’s not the internet’s birthday doesn’t mean you shouldn’t buy it a present. Do you only buy your intimate life-partner flowers on their birthday? Do you only buy your children new shoes at Christmas?

Well there you go then. I would even go so far to suggest that the internet has done way more for you then any intimate life-partner or child in your life, so really you should be spoiling the internet rotten with gifts all year round.

Any birthday gifts you do wish to give to the internet please send to Christopher Ratcliff, c/o The Internet, Econsultancy Towers, London, W1T 3QN. I’ll make sure they get passed along. 

PS… The internet likes Lego, Krispy Kreme donuts and record vouchers.

Kicked into touch

For every Veronica Mars movie, there are 10,000 failed one-man stage shows about the pointlessness of existence. For every MP3 player developed by an eccentric musician, there are 580 failed ‘bring back the pager’ campaigns. For every Oculus Rift there’s a man who’s Sellotaped a View-Master to his face.

Welcome to Kickended, the land of the $0 earned Kickstarter.

Featuring this ‘surprising’ musical…

and this knee-slapper…

Actually this one looked pretty good…

Lenny Kravitz made bearable

Neil Cicierega has improved the video to Kravitz’s execrable ‘Fly Away’ by turning the ever-shirtless singer into a Milky Way obsessed dragonfly. Yes it is brilliant.

Precise dwarf bravery

This Japanese clothes store has a fairly… let’s say ‘artful’… grasp of the English language.

Big H%*@ 6 

The most childish thing I’ve watched this week is also the best thing I’ve watched all week. Here is Kyle J.Britt’s unnecessarily censored version of Disney’s forthcoming Big Hero 6.

Hot Sauce Keyring 

My band name. I called it! Never be without your favourite brand of chilli sauce ever again thanks to Spending it All.

Finally your life is complete

Whilst on the same website as above, I also found this stupendous NES controller coffee table.

And you know what the best thing about this coffee table is?

Yep, that’s right… you can expect to die very alone.

Neo-Nazis marching against Neo-Nazis

In what is quite possibly the most heart-warming story about neo-nazis ever told, the Bavarian town of Wunsiedel managed to trick the attendees of an annual pilgrimage to Rudolph Hess’s grave into supporting anti-fascist charity EXIT Deutschland, a group that helps people safely leave the neo-Nazi party. The marchers raised more than 10,000 euros for the charity. Thanks Neo-Nazis! Same time next year?

The Unbearable Lightness of Blackburn

Tony Blackburn’s Instagram account is a work of post-modern, self-reflection taking in vast themes such as alienation, repetition, the pervasiveness of social media and what years Pick of the Pops will cover that day. 

Flipping heck

Japanese artist Mou Hitotsu no Kenkyujo has reinvented the flip book by using negative space and secret cutout compartments. They’re all wonderfully mind-bending. They also took about nine years to make, so don’t feel bad that you can’t do any better.

Doctor Von ‘Dyck’ Doom 

French photographer Sacha Goldberger has taken a huge collection of superheroes and villains from Marvel, DC and Star Wars and re-imagined them as 16th-century Flemish portrait models. See more at Super Flemish. We’ll give it one week before we start seeing ruffs in Top Shop.

“Roller coaster of Love… Roller coaster of bleeeugghhhhh”

Ride the Skyscraper, the world’s tallest ever roller coaster, planned for Orlando’s Skyplex attraction. It’s 535 feet tall. I realise the following is only a CG simulation, but still, I don’t think I can watch it all the way through.

Obligatory Serial reference of the week

If you’re not listening to Serial every week, then go and do so now and come back in four or five hours. All done? Great. In a slight crossover with the other weekly round-up we publish here on a Friday, The Bold Italic has some brilliant visualisations regarded the online behaviour of its fans.

The owls are not what they seem

Dangerous Minds reports on how Frank Zappa’s video animator Bruce Bickford sculpted the entire town of Twin Peaks out of clay. This is comparatively normal behaviour for someone who spent so much time with Zappa in the 70s.

Washington Thanksgiving Originators

Particularly for our American readers, here’s a Chrome extension that will replace the Washington based NFL football team’s name with something less racist. Or in fact not at all racist.

A Tiny Hamster Thanksgiving

With tiny hats, and tiny yams, and tiny pumpkin pie, and tiny buckles and one giant cook who could accidentally crush the diners at any moment.

Well nothing’s going to top that, not even a cat wearing headphones.

Oh wait!

That’s your lot for this week, me and the internet are feeling inspired so we’re going to head off to buy some kittens, the materials to build a scale model of a saw-mill and some ruffs. God knows what this will lead to.