It’s good that you’re sat down already, I have some devastating news.

Today is my last day at Econsultancy. I know. Try and keep yourself together.

I can only assure you that my reason for leaving is entirely valid.

A couple of months ago, our editor-in-chief Graham left the office proclaiming that he was heading off on a vision-quest. He also stated that if he wasn’t back within eight weeks, the deputy editor must follow him into the wilderness on a solo rescue mission, bringing with them as many hand-weapons and Tunnock’s Tea Cakes as they can carry.

That deputy editor is of course me.

I don’t particularly want to follow him out into the wilderness. There are ravenous wolves, mutated cannibals and over-eager mobile phone salespeople out there. However, as HR have been insisting for the last few days, I am “contractually obliged” to do so and therefore I’d better get packing.

Rather then dwell on the fearful, treacherous and probably curtailed future I face in the badlands, I thought I would instead reflect on the golden moments of my career, writing and deputy editing the Econsultancy blog.

Graham wrote a splendidly helpful and detailed piece called What I’ve Learnt From Eight Years of Editing & Blogging just before he left, so I can’t really do that, as my version would be very similar, only a bit shorter and a bit worse.

So I figured I’d play to my limited strengths instead.

Here are some of the things I’m most proud of writing, publishing or sharing on one of the best digital marketing blogs on the planet.

  • My favourite Venn diagram ever…

  • Every time a guest contributor used the term “leverage” I replaced it with the phrase “please slap me until I start talking like a normal human being.” Speaking of which, here are the banned words from the Econsultancy blog and my own alternatives for them. Including…

  • This guy… This flipping guy…

  • The Great Econsultancy Emoji Marketing Buster.

  • Possibly my very favourite game on the internet and responsible for Econsultancy’s complete lack of productivity for one whole afternoon in June, it’s a web-playable Atari game of The Shining of course!

  • Will an Apple Watch blend? Yes it will my friend. Anything will blend. You just need a blender. This video speaks to my withering attitude towards the Apple Watch and the term wearables, which until the arrival of ‘millennials’ was the stupidest term ever coined by a marketer.

  • I found a genuinely useful way of utilising Piktochart, by attributing completely made-up quotes to Kanye West. Nobody seemed to notice.

  • I gave the editorial team a makeover.

  • This adorably sympathetic bulldog.

  • So many Gifs.

  • Business Pogs.

  • In a world where every start-up is described as the Uber of something, here are a few of my own potential money-spinners…

  • For a solid year, the weekly stats round-up featured a semi-hidden non-marketing stat of the week. My favourite of which: 0.3% of all accidents in Canada involve a Moose.
  • Speaking of digital marketing stats, here’s my own piece of research on preferred ecommerce delivery methods…

  • Free next day delivery: 100%
  • Free immediate delivery: 100%
  • Singing telegram: 60%
  • Singing telegram wearing an erotic clown costume (respondent not asked any further questions): 5%
  • Unmarked bag left under the wheel-arch of a car: 5%
  • Fired out of a cannon: 5%
  • Drone: 5%
  • Pigeon: 5%
  • Pigeon-drone hybrid: 5%

Well I think I’ve pushed my luck as far as it will go.

So that just leaves me to say, it’s been a blast! Thank you to everyone who has read, commented on and shared my various ramblings over the past couple of years, and thank you to the content team – David, Chris, Graham, Matt, Ben, Jack – you’ve been an absolute joy to work with.

High-fives all round.