Don’t worry it’s Friday, you can stop reading that article on basket abandonment emails now and indulge in something a little more extra curricular.

“But we’re so engrossed in our work that we just don’t have the time to find anything fun on the internet,” I hear you all cry.

That’s exactly why I’m here. To source you the very finest distractions, oddities and marvels the internet had to offer this week while you were off doing something better/more important.

Where to start… Let’s see… *ruffles pages of the internet*… Ah, here we go.


Spike Jonze’s latest film Her features the disturbingly mustachioed Joaquin Phoenix falling in love with a Siri-style operating system voiced by Scarlett Johansson. 

Prepare yourself for the inevitable onslaught of re-dubbed footage featuring a cavalcade of increasingly ‘hilarious’ disembodied voices. This effort from Richard Trammel however, replacing Johansson’s voice with the decidedly non-Johansson voice of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, is really quite wonderful.

Warning! Contains swearing, predictably.

Vinyl destination

The macabre and entrepreneurial And Vinyly will press your ashes into a vinyl LP featuring a recording of your choice (copyright restrictions reply), which your most loyal groupies can remember you with, long after you’ve shuffled, twisted and mashed-potatoed off this mortal coil. 

I was going to make a joke about ‘Stairway to Heaven’ but I couldn’t be bothered.

25 worst passwords of 2013

SplashData has revealed its list of worst passwords from 2013.

‘Password’ itself has finally lost the top spot to ‘123456’, while the classic ‘12345678’ remains unchanged. That’s always been my personal favourite and I look forward to its sixteenth year protecting my email, bank accounts and entry to MOD level 12.

The Toilet Guru

Answering such questions as: do foreigners have strange toilets? What is a bidet? Can you clean a toilet with fire? Plus the very salient… why am I so obsessed by toilets?

Jason Statham is…

After ‘Jack-ing’ Tom Cruise’s Wikipedia page, someone else has infiltrated Jason Statham’s IMDB page and made it at least 100% more accurate.

Thanks to @LukeWhiston for the super-agile screengrab. 

Noel Gallagher: insightful music critic extraordinaire of own music

I’ve written about this elsewhere, but it’s worth sharing again just for the line “that’s not a real record player and he’s not a real clown”. These are the best moments from Noel Gallagher’s audio commentary on the ‘Time Flies’ collection of Oasis music videos, available to buy in all good Virgin Megastores eight years ago.

Warning! Again and even more predictably, contains swearing. 

Suck on that, Tom Hanks’s character from Da Vinci Code who I’ve forgotten!

The internet solved this 18 year-old family mystery in 14 minutes.

Can you solve it quicker? 

Well can you? I’m still pointing directly at you and my finger’s getting tired.

The Star Wars Scale Model Project

Vesa Lehtimaki has created a series of photo realistic views of Star Wars toys in natural settings that defies all sarcasm and stupidity that I could possibly think of right now.

I corrected them, sir

It’s highly likely you’ve already seen the video of Fight Club minus Tyler Durden, however this is even further up my Kubrick-obsessed street and mildly less spoilery. It’s The Shining minus Delbert Grady.

And inevitably…

It would be remiss of me not to mention the major breaking news story from the last 48 hours. Only, I don’t want to, so I’ll leave the final words to our good friends Dwight and Jim.

That’s your lot for this week. I’ve booked the internet and myself a little city-break this weekend, so just chat amongst yourselves for a couple of days.