The best and worst thing about being present at the dawn of the internet is watching the new language that has been developed to cope with it.
With the news that 'noob' may be about to make it into the dictionary, I gave some thought to the language we online marketers are responsible for and, I have to admit, we have created our fair share of terrible terminology. We also routinely use some horrible generic marketing terms.
So, here is my list of the worst words and phrases used in our sector. I freely admit that I use them myself but that doesn't mean I like them. Feel free to add your own below.
This just makes me shudder. I see an increasing number of CVs with this on, so I think the universities offering marketing degrees have really embraced it. People also seem to mean different things by this word, from redesigning rooms to fit a corporate image, to designing an identity for cities, to simply reassessing and defining a brand.
Does anyone know what it is actually meant to mean?
I definitely use this word but I am not happy about it! 'Web' doesn't even rhyme with 'sem'. When I go to seminars in person, I do not call them roominars, why can't we just call them online seminars?
Okay, the web may not be entirely to blame for this one, more marketers as a whole.
I am not even entirely sure what people mean by it, it is like the old 'blue sky thinking' and 'thinking outside the box', in that it means: "I do not like what you have thought of so far, go away and do it in a way that makes me think it is original."
As in the development of consumer awareness and popularity, essentially why we advertise stuff. We need this word but it just sounds so… so Borg. I prefer 'consumer awareness' or 'brand popularity' or anything that sounds less like a forced intrusion.
Where has this word come from? Is it something to do with American sports? It is a really popular term among salespeople and I think that is because they hope 'I just wanted to touch base with you and see where we are at' sounds more 'dynamic' than 'I am ringing to see if you have made a decision'.
Team work makes the dream work
I first heard this phrase when I read it on the Internet Advertising Bureau's least wanted list but since then, I have heard it everywhere. My problem is that it is such a platitude and if you have to mouth such rubbish to motivate your team, things are going wrong.
Look at it this way, if David Brent from The Office would say it, you should avoid it.
In the world of marketing, the humble product or service has been left far behind. We do not sell things, we sell 'solutions'. They might be solutions to problems you never heard of before we began talking but now you know you need them. Whatever they are.
I know that as a professional within the online marketing world, my purpose is simply to help people sell stuff. However, terms like this are so cold and robotic that I think we should avoid them at all costs. If your customers ever heard you talking about leveraging relationships, they would find it hard to trust you.
As soon as web 2.0 became a popular phrase, a huge number of firms began promising 'web 3.0 marketing', the implication being that this is a step forward from what everyone else is doing.
However, few people have a definition for what this next stage might be and they are simply using it to describe web 2.0 marketing tactics. It is the equivalent of adding'2000' to everything back in 1998.
I kid you not, some marketers now worry that 'brainstorm' sounds a bit negative and as though we are laughing at people who suffer fits.
What we should do instead is take idea showers or thought showers. This is mostly an American development at present but it cannot be long before the phrase is properly unleashed over here.