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You can make your own mind up as to the order of this selection.
In fact, why not copy and paste the content, reshuffle it into your own order by whatever logic you choose and upload it to Buzzfeed? Boom, you've got yourself brand new content. What have you got to lose? Go on, have a ball.
Henry Elliss made me think long and hard about clickbait in his article the dirty secrets of clickbait will blow your mind this week.
Subsequently I realise it's churlish of me to criticise Buzzfeed, Upworthy and other publishers that use overlong headlines coupled with weightless content to attract traffic, in a post that is essentially devoted to my favourite cat memes and stuff I've stolen off Reddit.
Some readers will decry me as a hypocrite for this and to those people I say the following: "woah did you see this awesome doge gif? It will make your head explode!"
Marty, we gotta go back, back to the… oh wait it’s today
Thanks to the AV Club for uncovering the dirt on this. If the following meme drives you as nuts as it does me and you’re wondering who the hell is responsible for creating all of these fake Delorean dashboards… they’re right here in this tumblr.
A new image is generated every day of the year.
If you wish to troll your Facebook friends whenever they fall for this ruse, smarmily post them the following video to prove them wrong:
Ah, sweet pedantry. It may not make you popular, but at least you’ll be right.
Three years a slave
Sophie’s mum runs a Tumblr called Don’t Call Me Oscar, where every February she recreates scenes from all the best picture nominations using her daughter.
Here Sophie masterfully out-sterns Chiwetel Ejiofor
While you're there, scroll down to Zero Dark Thirty. It’s a peach.
Nick Offerman reads tweets from young female celebrities
If you’re unaware of Nick Offerman’s work (Parks and Recreation, stand-up comedy, fashioning canoes, being the greatest ever example of a man) head on over to his woodshop now.
There you can also find this selection of videos in which Offerman emotionlessly reads out the most vapid tweets from a variety of young female celebrities without even a quiver of his moustache.
In all of the time that I've lived alone in this house, I swear I've closed more doors than I've opened
For 19 more two-sentence horror stories click below. IF YOU DARE!
Way to go, Mario
This is perhaps the most nerve-wracking thing you’ll ever see if you’re of a certain geeky disposition (hello).
Watch YouTube user NotEntirelySure achieve the very lowest possible score of 500 while completing Super Mario Bros by not grabbing a single coin, not jumping on a single Goomba and waiting till the very last second until jumping on the flagpole. It’s riveting.
Hollywood sign generator
Click below to make your own version of the Hollywood sign. It’s fun… honest...
Something about throwing rocks in glass houses yadda yadda blah blah blah...
Anyway, here’s what Buzzfeed looks like without the gifs:
As my colleague Ben Davis said at the beginning of the week, this is “what computers are for".
I’m ready for this jelly now
Writing about Beyoncé seems to be a bit of a curse on the Econsultancy blog, being as my post on Beyoncé breaking all digital music records last year is my least read post ever. So I’m cautiously including this now:
It’s a Beyoncé soundboard!
Me and Ben Davis are having a secret war behind the scenes about who can get their least read post the most page impressions. His is about fax machines. He is inexplicably winning. Mainly because he does sneaky things like this:
Well played, Ben. Well played.
I’ll take another slice of James Franco
So, uh, yeah… I don’t know about this one. I’ll just leave this quote from the website.
Meat production today is simply unsustainable… Currently, 70% of the world’s farmland (almost 30% of the entire earth’s surface) is used for raising animals… Celebrity meat production requires less than 1% of the amount of land needed for traditional farming.
Makes sense. Can’t wait to taste the Kanye.
Too Many DJs
So you think being a DJ is just opening up a laptop and playing a song from iTunes hey? Well you’re just not taking into account the standing, hand gestures and jelly bean sharing.
Shooting fish in a barrel is like producing an Oscar winner
All you need is male nudity, a nonlinear timeline, a New York setting and have someone fall down the stairs. Click below to see Time’s interactive chart.
So plugs, very links
I'll end this week's round-up with an experiment. Below is a fake blog that I built for a series of posts on how to set up a WordPress blog. Purely for my own amusement, I'm going to leave the clickable image below just to see how many of you visit one of the stupidest things I’ve ever created.
The visit counter says that my busiest day was last Monday with three unique views. Let's see if we can't double that today.
That's your lot for this week. I should go get changed, me and the internet are going on a double-date with Ben and traditional print media.
For more internet round-up hijinks, check out last week’s 11 glorious ways the internet will keep you entertained right now.