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The fact that any work was done at all this week is nothing short of a miracle.
Nobody likes a round-up of entertaining things found on the internet with a delightfully sarcastic commentary more than me.
Well, imagine the burden of having to be the one who puts this thing together then. What do I get to read in order to distract me when it's my off time?
It's not like there are any alternatives out there.
Let's move swiftly on to the round-up.
This Instagram user is doing a great public service in pointing out celebrities’ fake Rolexes. Everyone needs a hobby.
Contains many phrases and words that I don’t understand that I can’t tell if it's offensive or not.
And then the internet ate itself
It’s amazing what you didn’t think you needed a week ago, and then suddenly you do.
Some moderate Godzilla related turbulence
Finally the US Air Force answers your questions about their strategy in case of a possible Godzilla attack. That’s right, your questions.
I wondered why I was ‘glowing’
Happy Place reported on photo printing website Shutterfly this week, the company accidentally mass emailing “congratulations on your new baby” messages to thousands of people who weren’t pregnant.
Reactions ranged from the furious to the suitably withering.
Shutterfly has experienced the red-hot-flush of embarrassment that comes after asking “when’s it due?” to a woman who turns out isn’t pregnant. Only on a massive scale.
Which piece of music links 800 years of history (past and future) and countless compositions and soundtracks to Hollywood movies? ‘Dies Irae’ or the medieval chant for the dead.
This mournful ‘ditty’ can be heard in everything from Star Wars to The Exorcist to It’s a Wonderful Life.
Here CBC’s Tom Allen takes you through a musical history of death.
“There’s a potential Donkey King kill screen coming up”
Growing up in Arcades is an incredibly evocative Flickr pool that collates users misspent youth from 1979-1989 in one handy nostalgia and retro soaked album. It’s glorious.
Courtesy of Steven Siegel.
Courtesy of Sulaco99.
James Franco finally explains his Instagram behaviour
‘He doesn’t put a lot of thought into it’.
A princely racket
Relatively speaking this is the best part of Spin Doctor’s ‘Two Princes’, on a nine-minute loop.
The challenge is to see how far you get before you even realise it’s the same bit. THE NINETIES!
Madison Square Gardens may have to widen its doors for this one
A cruise ship plays ‘Seven Nation Army’ by White Stripes on its horns.
Exit Through the Gif Shop
With a simple touch of internet magic (gifs) these classic movie posters take on a whole new dramatic meaning (are now gifs).
Just in case you wanted to see a valet spectacularly mess up parking a Lamborghini.
Moneyhorse games is currently developing a sideways scrolling shoot-em-up based on the epic tale of Kim Jong Un and his crushing of the imperialist menace.
Defeat the entire US army, alongside your buddy Dennis Rodman…
And a unicorn.
That's your lot for this week. I'm off to see Ghost Stories. Perhaps you can replicate my experience at home and watch some of those prank videos on YouTube where you watch a nice picture of some trees for a few minutes and than a scary face jumps out.
For more round-up hijinks check out last week's 14 things we found on the internet that justify its very existence.