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Looking at the internet and being a cynic go hand in hand.
After all what's the alternative? We wander around the place like a wide-eyed lunatic believing everything we read? Lord knows how many Nigerian princes would be receiving our life savings and film streaming services would be direct-debiting us long after we're dead.
All is not lost though.
I bring together the following amusing entertainments in order to give that snarky, trolling mind of yours a rest and remind you that not everything on the internet is 'out to get you'.
Then once you've finished reading, if you can send a cheque made out to Christopher Ratcliff, c/o Econsultancy for £5,000, then I can free up some capital left to me by my deceased grandmother. I'll then be able to pay you back with 15% interest later in the year.
What if your favourite movies were made decades earlier with different directors and cast? Peter Stults has designed this superb collection of ‘What if’ posters.
Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino
Taking advantage of his gold membership privilege of receiving a free drink for every 12 coffees purchased (a privilege that doesn’t specify a price or lethal dosage) Andrew Chifari ordered the most expensive drink in Starbucks history. A 60 shot Frappuccino costing $54.75.
And he drank the lot. Good boy. (This may get re-edited to RIP by tomorrow).
“He’s not a goblin, he’s a spaceman”
Head on over to genius creature effects artist Rick Baker’s Twitter account where he’s busy revealing unused and early prototypes from a whole host of movies from An American Werewolf in London and The Exorcist to a scrapped Spielberg film called Night Skies and this particularly creepy early iteration of ET.
He does look like Edward G and the others.But painting out the top of the head, adding eyes,and small tweaks.ET"S dad pic.twitter.com/XOdbSNDmAd— Rick Baker (@TheRickBaker) May 23, 2014
Ads for sickos
This is my favourite thing this week, although do be warned, steer clear if you’re not quite the degenerate that I am.
This collection of wholesome all-American ads have all been given a much needed darker twist.
The World as 100 People
To redress the balance of ethics in this round-up, here's a great visualisation of the simplified ‘100 people’ statistics of how our 7bn global population is divided.
Finally I found a human I can eat!
The horrifying new McDonald’s Happy Meal mascot gets this critical drubbing from some very observant children. Courtesy of Grub Street.
It was not you who called the alpaca a llama, but he will bite you all the same
Here’s a brilliant parody account that merely recounts Hannibal Lector’s musings as he visits the zoo. Entitled Hannibal At The Zoo.
One cannot hear God's voice without wielding God's power to destroy, just as one cannot tell a penguin's sex without doing a blood test.— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 23, 2014
The monkey touches himself not to feel pleasure, but to demonstrate to the zookeeper that he cannot be controlled.— Hannibal At The Zoo (@ZooHannibal) May 24, 2014
If you’re a fan of glitch-pop (don’t ask) just like me, along with an unwavering love of 80s movies, you’ll love Pogo’s cut-up, ambient remix using various bits of dialogue from Back to the Future.
Back tae the Future
Sticking with the Back To The Future Trilogy. Here it is again, Glesga style!
"Thanks for the Hoverboard, hen." - "Aye well, get it right up ye! Ah've goat a pitbull noo!" pic.twitter.com/iiyyyI8N9w— Back Tae The Future (@BackTaeTheToon) May 27, 2014
Everything you need to know
Here’s how the NY Post covered Kanye and Kim’s wedding this week.
50 Cent’s first pitch really is as bad as everyone says it is
Just in case you missed it.
Marco Sodano has recreated these classic masterpieces using one of the most satisfying of bricky mediums.
Every time Nicolas Cage laughs…
… a supporting actor backs nervously towards an open door.
Here’s 20 whole minutes of Cage’s unpredictable amusement that could 'go either way'.
Stevie Knicks with the weather
Thunder only happens etc...
“I’m an artist”
The comedies of Apatow, Rogen and Ferrell have done a lot to damage the visual flair of modern comedy filmmaking. One man can be considered a true cinematic genius as he uses all of the tools of his trade to the fullest is Edgar Wright.
Here’s why he’s so damn good…
Bamboo outwits baby panda
I’m even more worried about the future of pandas now.
That's your lot for this week. Me and internet are off to try on funny hats for a comedic montage. You've still got a little bit of work left to finish.
For more round-up hijinks, read last week's 14 adjective flouting things we found on the internet.