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Why would you go out there anyway?
It’s hot, there are roaming gangs of youths knocking over bins, transport has ground to a standstill and there are wolves out there. They’re the worst bit.
So why don’t you stay here for a while. Gather what’s left of your loved ones around the artificial glow of your computer screen and enjoy the following delights the internet had to offer this week…
And yet only one mention of ‘lasers’
Watch this brain-frying video if you can. It’s every word of dialogue from Star Wars put in alphabetical order.
Because apparently life isn’t as short as you assumed.
This week on Morgan Freeman’s series of ‘unboxing videos… I think you know where this is going.
Become Johnny 5
Watch the first five minutes of 10,000 movies in five minutes in this extraordinary, zoomable video.
Enjoy such masterpieces as Employee of the Month, Elvira Mistress of the Dark and, oh wait, I think that’s Deer Hunter.
Star Trek stabilized
This is what the original actors from Star Trek look like while just throwing themselves a room for no reason whatsoever.
Fastest way to feel old…
Just show kids from today what it was like using the internet in ‘our day’.
Horrible Tumblr of the week
If there’s one thing worse than ‘chicks with Steve Buscemi’ eyes, it’s ‘guys with Zooey Deschanel eyes’.
And probably the word ‘chicks’.
I’m guilty of a far more monstrous crime…
Rocking this super sweet mullet.
Struggling for a paper based football pun here… I’ll get back to it later
I’m surprised he didn’t drop to the ground and demand to be stretchered off. Amirite?
You see me ridin’ dirty
An intriguing and slightly uncharacteristic feature of the new Mario Kart 8 game is the apparent malice that Luigi exhibits towards his fellow drivers.
Perhaps years of being overshadowed by his successful older brother have taken their toll. These are the best of ‘Luigi Death Stares’…
iPod go home
Now that’s a personal music player! One that can blow out the windows of every surrounding building.
Snapchat, all on the flooooor…
Finally a use for Snapchat that doesn’t involve cyber-bullying or genitals.
Murray through the years
Here are the last six Bill Murray appearances on Letterman.
John Chapman has made this exquisite shot for shot remake of the Terminator 2 chase scene on GTA5.
Game of… OH GOD NO NOT AGAIN!!!
Just keep looking at this Instagram and pretend like nothing happened.
That’s your lot for this week. I’m going to equip myself with a baseball bat and a hockey mask to go out for some milk. Do you want anything while I’m out? I’ll be three and a half days.
For more internet related nonsense, check out last week’s 16 things we found on the internet to cheer your jaded soul.