Welcome Friday-feeling marketers everywhere! Hopefully today’s solar eclipse hasn’t darkened your spirits, because this is a very special round-up indeed. My last one.
Yes, I’ll be moving on from Econsultancy after five fun-filled* years, and so regular round-up wrangler Christopher Ratcliff has given me the chance to say goodbye right here on the blog.
I could ensure my legacy by finally revealing my unified marketing field theory, or just publish my ‘complete** content distribution cycle’.
Or, you know, I could just write 300 words about “Robert Cop”
Almost done for the day, but, as Robert Cop so famously said, I’ll be back (tomorrow). pic.twitter.com/c8O167HYcj
— Matt Owen (@lexx2099) March 19, 2015
Let’s see which option I take eh?
Talk about hamming it up
Eurovision is coming! (For those of you not in Europe, imagine the cold war, but covered in glitter)
In the lead-up, the UK has a new song it plans to enter, but as Youtube points out, we may have heard that tune somewhere before…
“I want that one”
Speaking of deep-frozen treats from off of the 1980s, TV chef Gordon Ramsay is on hand to prove that he’s not a spent culinary force.
I can’t wait to get home and whip out the solid silver frying pan and get to work on this delicious dish.
I’m a doctor, not a keizaki!
Hmmm, maybe I’d be better off going out to eat.
How far out I hear you ask? Why, beyond the limits of our humble Earth, into the unknown. And now I can, thanks to this, possibly the most unrelated piece of merchandise ever produced.
Let’s just hope Venusians know how to make a decent California Roll
Actually the best things on the internet
Actually, all that eating has given me the collywobbles, but not nearly as much as Google’s gorgeous “1000 experiments” page.
Go on, pop some bubbles
Shut up and comb your face
This week saw a massive solar eclipse in the UK, and while some of the images were somewhat uninspiring, the darkness did give London’s nocturnal denizens a chance to roam unfettered for a few minutes.
I was safely holed up in the Econsultancy bunker, but if you weren’t as lucky, it might be worth reading this excellent* guide on what to expect when you’ve been bitten by a werewolf.
Mythbusters’ attitude is so outdated
Speaking of being transformed into a mythical creature (Unbelievably, these segues really do have to be written by someone, they don’t just naturally occur), it’s just one of the the helpful guides that Jeff Wysaski has produced this month.
“Whether your children have two feet or four hooves, you’re love for them should always come first”
Inspiring. Check out Jeff’s other works, including ‘how to dress yourself’ and ‘The beginner’s guide to human sacrifice’.
This man used to be my hero
Right, that’s the reading part out of the way, so how about we watch some TV instead?
How old is MR T anyway? He shouldn’t be putting up shelves at his age. And he certainly shouldn’t be signalling the end of civilisation as we know it by launching concept shows called ‘I Pity The Tool’.
Yes, this is a thing that exists.
Go ahead and weep for humanity. I’ll wait.
“And Leon’s getting larger”
Ah yes, humanity. That great, seething morass of people, covering the Earth like a… I dunno, a sort of moss that has arms and legs or something.
And living in houses! That’s another thing we do isn’t it? Us wacky humans!
It doesn’t stop those houses being impressive though, especially not when viewed at high speed, like in this amazing collection of timelapses of the world’s largest cities. Well worth wasting your lunchtime on:
Bed bugs, scabies and body fluids, oh my!
I suppose I should try to squeeze something vaguely social media-related in here shouldn’t I?
Although, let’s be honest, social media is all over for the rest of us, because Will Hall has perfected the form.
Check out his inspiring Pinterest account to see what I mean.
Go on, you owe it to yourself to browse ‘Illegible Metal Band Logos’ and the self-explanatory ‘Artisanal Prison Shanks’
I also paint vans
If you’ve made it this far down the list then, well, frankly I salute you. And you shall have your reward!
Yep, this is the bit of the round-up where I chuck in something actually worth reading, because I can tell your brain is starting to silt up.
Sit in the car, put on an old 8-track of Electric Light Orchestra* and check out this wonderful article from Collector’s Weekly on the lost art form that was: Rock n’ Roll billboards.
We need more of these in the world.
*and open a window. I’m not being responsible for gassing 23% of the ecommerce experts on the planet.
If you can’t beat’em, blow ’em up
Well, I guess that’s about it.
It wouldn’t be a patented Owen collection without some unnecessary explosions though, so here’s a massive collection to satisfy all your needs.
Why not pop some of these into your next email campaign?
Last of all, I’m sure you’re wondering how I manage to write such inspiring, insightful stuff each Friday.
It has less to do with PCP than you might think. In fact, it’s all about sticking to a rigorous style guide, published here in full for the first time:
Right, that’s it. It’s been a blast. Me and the internet are off to play laser-quest in the old haunted Foyles book shop.
In the meantime, if you think I’m leaving without playing some Iron Maiden, you are sadly, sadly mistaken.
See ya around!