Ladies and gentlemen, this is the news.

In the absence of my dear colleague Ben Davis, who is sunning himself on the beaches of Berlin, I have taken responsibility for this week’s roundup.

It includes South Park, Jack Ma dancing, lots of Musky goodness, and not a lot else.

Enjoy!

Rocket explosions

Elon Musk’s Space X published a spectacular show reel of all the times its rocket launches went awry.

I understand that these rockets are full of flammable fuel, but even so it’s weird how often they explode.

Asia’s richest man acts exactly like Asia’s richest man should

If you had more money than you could ever spend, it might be difficult to come up with new and interesting ways to entertain yourself.

That must be what drove Alibaba Chairman Jack Ma to perform as Michael Jackson at his company’s annual conference. It looks like he was having a lot of fun and fair play for having the guts to do it, though his dancing skills are about as good as you’d expect them to be.

Mr Sandman, bring me a $400 pillow

Do you have trouble sleeping? Does the cold side of the pillow bring you comfort? Would you like a $400 pillow that is always cold? Of course not, you’re not a fool.

And yet, this Kickstarter project offers you the chance to part with $400 for a cold pillow. And it’s already passed its $50,000 goal with 42 days remaining. Good grief.

More from The Verge.

Hop on the Hyperloop

More Musk news. Hyperloop One has identified 10 potential routes for its ultrafast transportation tubes. There are two routes proposed here in the UK, one from Edinburgh to London and the other from Glasgow to Liverpool.

The aim is to have three routes up and running by 2021. A very exciting project indeed.

Cartman trolls Alexa

There have been numerous stories doing the rounds about TV shows and adverts setting off people’s smart home assistants, but this is probably my favourite one.

In a recent South Park episode, Cartman got his hands on a range of smart home devices, including an Amazon Alexa. You won’t believe the results, tech fans!

Silicon Valley lacks self-awareness – shock!

There is a new Silicon Valley startup called Bodega. Nothing wrong with that, except that it aims to put real bodegas out of business.

Thankfully the company’s business model is a bit stupid, so hopefully it won’t catch on. The Verge has written a lovely article explaining why Bodega has proved so controversial so I won’t go into too much detail here, and I’ll leave the tl;dr version to Jes Skolnik.

People will pay £1,000 for a phone

That’s right. Apple unveiled an internet-enabled telephone that costs a grand. And people will buy it, because that’s what people do.

The only thing this phone is good for is to help identify those who have completely lost touch with reality.

If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to have my Falling Down moment.